I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Congratulations! We have a period
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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