she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
