just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
