guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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