I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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