u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
