how can u be prego again
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
