oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
