for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Everclear isn't food dammit
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
