oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
