Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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