i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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