using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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