just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize