do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
