I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
