I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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