i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
