omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
