I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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