People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
