Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize