STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
