i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
