If i come over, it means nothing
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
