someone get that fucking seahorse.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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