Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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