We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
