The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
