he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
