his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
and you fell through a lawn chair
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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