we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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