Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So many bounce houses so little time
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
