Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
