All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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