Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
