I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize