I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
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