apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
