he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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