my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
