Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
