Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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