were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
