I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
