yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
