I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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