just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
