so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
