brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
