i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
