So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize