I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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