he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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