i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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