You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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