Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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