Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
