If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
