Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
