as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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