6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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