I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
