oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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