No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just had sex on a roof
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
