You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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