Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
