So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
