Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize