I'd wear matching sweaters with you
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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