I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I think your dad took our porno
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
