Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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