At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
