paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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