she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
not ubering you a puppy
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
